Monday, September 22, 2008

prayers and dreams

I think, everyone deserves to have dreams. But dreams will remain as dreams if we do not work to acheive our dreams. This I learnt it through the hard way back in P6. Speaking of which, cousin T is taking his PSLE this year. I wish him all the best.

I think, no matter how old we are, we deserve to have the rights to pursue our dreams. If anyone asks me, I would tell them frankly that I have many dreams that I want to pursue. But I need to be patient. For there will be a right time for the right opportunity.

With adequate planning, my next step would be to pursue a Masters degree. Not hopefully, but definitely. Am I being too overconfident? I think not. If I can work myself from anonimity in a neighbourhood school to TJ and then Honours in NUS, what is impossible? If it is a sin to dream, then I would say that a bigger sin is to not do anything to achieve the dream and blame everyone else for our failures, when it is obviously our fault if we haven't done our best. When it is obviously our fault when we refuse to accept failures and bounce back from them.

Food for thought as I was reading a book from McCabe.

People often complain of 'distractions' during prayer. Theor mind goes wandering off on to other things. This is nearly always due to praying for something you do not really want; you just think it would be proper and respectable and 'religious' to want it. So you pray high-mindedly for big but distant things like peace... or you pray that your aunt will get better from flu- when you do not care about such things; perhaps you ought to, but you don't. And your prayer is rapidly invaded by distractions arising from what you really do want- promotion at work... If you are distracted, trace your distraction back to the real desires it comes from and pray about these. When you are praying for what you really want you will not be distracted.

Never mind if your prayer seems 'selfish' or childish. If you will be honest in prayer, acknowledging that you are not very altruistic, that you do worry about your own interests, if you will just try to be, and admit to being, as you are, the Holy Spirit will lead you into a deeper understanding of who you are and what you really want. For prayer is not only a matter of asking, it turns out to be about learning as well, about growing up, about discovering yourself. When you lay your true desires before God, you begin to see them in better perspective. Quite often you find that they are not, after all, the things you really wanted. If you bring these desires out into the light, but the divine light of the Lord, you begin to see them as important but not the most important thing to you. And so through the practice of praying, God will often lead you nearer and nearer to realising that in the end what you wantmost of all is God himself.

Not saying that this is only relevant to believers of Christ. But in many ways, it is true that we need to look within ourselves in an honest way to learn and to grow up. There are many things that we do not like in ourselves. Having the courage to know ourselves will make us stronger and yet more humble as we are more aware of our weaknesses and vulnerability as humans.

It is only through such self-awareness and knowledge that we have the courage to overcome our failures to achieve what we dreamt to be.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Seeking some quiet moments

Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah - C+YF

Be Not Afraid - St. John the Baptist Choir

1. You shall cross the barren desert, but you shall not die of thirst. You
shall wander far in safety though you do not know the way. You shall speak
your words in foreign lands and all will understand. You shall see the face
of God and live.

R. Be not afraid. I go before you always. Come follow me, and I will give
you rest.

2. If you pass through raging waters in the sea, you shall not drown. If
you walk amid the burning flames, you shall not be harmed. If you stand
before the pow'r of hell and death is at your side, know that I am with you
through it all.

3. Blessed are your poor, for the kingdom shall be theirs. Blest are you
that weep and mourn, for one day you shall laugh. And if wicked men insult
and hate you all because of me, blessed, blessed are you!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Sing - The Carpenters

Aren't they cute?

English lyrics below

Sing, sing a song
Sing out loud
Sing out strong
Sing of good things not bad
Sing of happy not sad.

Sing, sing a song
Make it simple to last
Your whole life long
Don't worry that it's not
Good enough for anyone
Else to hear
Just sing, sing a song.

Sing, sing a song
Let the world sing along
Sing of love there could be
Sing for you and for me.

Sing, sing a song
Make it simple to last
Your whole life long
Don't worry that it's not

Good enough for anyone
Else to hear
Just sing, sing a song.

Quiet reflection time@5am before madness begins again

It's going to be a busy, busy weekend for me. Marking papers, setting test questions, preparing lessons, CCA stuff. See how I am going to cram all these into 2 short days. Why? EOY exams will be coming soon. Work after EOY will also be just as intensive as I need to prepare for the trip. What trip? This one. The sacrifices we make to pursue our higher calling. But it's ok. Since it's my passion and I am bound by my principle of 'converting' others to see the relevance and fun in taking up Geog, I am contented and happy in doing something that I like. Yeah, I know in this pragmatic society, the Humanities are seen as irrelevant. Perhaps true if we are merely looking at it for career development. But I firmly believe that without these subjects, our life would be less enriching as after all, where oh where are we going to know about world events and the universal values of human life, if not for humanities?

Humanities = Human-ities. Study of humans and we are all surrounded by them, being one ourselves. We are all guided by what we believe in. Beliefs do not come from nowhere, but through our experience in interacting with others and knowledge of what has happened, is happening and will happen.

Anyway, before I get too carried away... Was reflecting back to events that had occured since the year started. It has been amazing that I managed to learn so many things in this short period of time. Think I am now qualified to tell my juniors (esp SL) that 'Life is NIE is a rose. Wait till you graduate and become a full-fledged teacher'. Muahahahaha. They are going to so hate me for 'suaning' them.

Last week has been particularly eventful. Actually the whole experience marked a sense of deja vu for me. But I guess growing up has its pains. How we deal with it will influence how we develop as a person as an adult. Thinking back, I think growing up for me would be less painful if I had the support that I needed, but hey, I survived! Actually it is quite amazing because I could never imagine myself to be living the life now when I was a teenager. struggling to do my best and with other issues. Seriously I could never fanthom my post-secondary life back then. Guess, we mature and grow stronger as we get older and have more experiences in life huh?

Nevertheless, regardless of where we are, we need to always understand the context where one is living in, in order to know the person better and understand why they behave in certain manners. I would dare say that yes, it is easy to judge and make caustic remarks to the person, but wouldn't life be much easier and more beautiful if we take the time to show care and concern AND live in harmony with others?

*shudders* Ok, I know this sounds cliche and totally 'NE-ish'. Ugh. But I think there is no better way to put it.